Sponge bath it is.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
