No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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