it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We had to coat check the pizza.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
