i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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