Non-Jews are for practice
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm like, not good at living.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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