stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
