This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
