Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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