I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
