I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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