so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize