i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
