brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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