Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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