I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
