I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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