windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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