I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
