Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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