The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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