just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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