Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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