why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
