sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
