He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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