it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude. I can hear the air.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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