I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
