THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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