If i come over, it means nothing
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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