im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
