White coat. Heels.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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