I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
