it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How naked do you want me to be?
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