I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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