i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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