I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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