yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
