Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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