If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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