my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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