He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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