i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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