He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You pole danced in your parka.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize