I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
