Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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