his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
