i think my mom watched the whole time
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
