he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
