why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
