Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
