my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
