don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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