is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
