Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
