so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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