We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
