i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Vodka?
Forever.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So much Jack, so little girl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
