My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
