please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
