very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize