you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
