i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize