When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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