She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
