So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
