you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
