Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
