I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
